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Paris, France

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Growing Up German



  • Always getting a free slice of sausage at the butcher
  • Hearing stories where people violently died as bedtime stories
  • Closing your eyes when the Sandmännchen throws his sand so you don’t have to go to sleep
  • Making your own ice cream with Fruchtzwerge yoghurt
  • Benjamin Blümchen Cake
  • Singing a song about chinese people playing contrabass
  • “Fisher Fisher how deep is the water?”
  • “Don’t throw snowballs, one time a girl got a snowball with a stone in it in her eye and she went blind!”
  • “Charlie Chaplin went to Frankfurt…”
  • A depressed bread called Bernd
  • Knowing like 2 people who can pronound the English “th” properly
  • Humilating unathletic students in front of the whole school a.k.a. Bundesjugendspiele
  • “My grandma rides a motor bike in the hen house.”
  • Toggo Tour was like Coachella for German kids but you could never go cause they never came to your town
  • “cat toilet, cat toilet, yes that makes the cat happy”
  • “Space Taxi to the sky!”
  • “Now in every 7th egg!”
  • “Get [insert stupid ringtone here] in the Jamba Sparabo!”
  • Is it der, die or das Nutella?
  • Having friends in other states is difficult cause they’ve got school holidays when you’re still in school and vice versa
  • “Of course with the Mouse and the Elephant”
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My sexiest Halloween costume yet.

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It occurs to me that there are people who weren’t on this website in 2012 and therefore never saw the magical gif that you can actually hear:

It’s been over five years and that still impresses the hell out of me.

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